I hate facebook

I’ve decided to create a blog as to the reasons why facebook sucks.

Apparently facebook users are middle class professionals. I fall into this category and you won’t find me on the social networking site. Instead of being on facebook amongst the mindless herds of people I have decided to post my hate for the site in hopes it might attract some agreeable, level-headed fellow citizens. You might ask, “What is worse? Being on facebook and addicted for hours or writing a blog about how you hate the social networking site?” Sadly I have to say being on facebook for hours on end  is much worse than this blog ever will be.

Shall we begin?

THE TOP 10 REASONS I HATE FACEBOOK AND QUIT.

1. FRIEND REQUESTS

Ok, so I barely remember you from middle school. Wait, I do, it’s coming back to me. You made fun of me in the lunch line. Now that we’ve moved on from then and out into the “real world,” you find it completely acceptable to find me online and send me a friend request. As much as I’d like to know how your life is and how your looks have steadily deteriorated since high school, I’m going to  ignore your friend request. The one problem with ignoring a friend request is that you will likely run into that person.  It may not be that week or even that month, but it will happen. Sometime in Target or out getting a coffee you will find yourself standing in front of the person in line  creating the most awkward moment humanly possible.

2. WHAT’S ON YOUR MIND?

I know what’s on my mind. The problem is I don’t want to know what’s on your mind. I don’t want to know what you ate for breakfast, how you had a wonderful weekend with your fiance, how you hate frosted flakes, and how much you love Tuesdays. I find this information to be pointless and non-stimulating. In fact, I think it’s making me dumb. I believe we can’t read minds for a reason, because it’s too many random thoughts that will eventually drive us crazy. I prefer the thoughts of my own mind, where it’s calm, quiet and sane.

3. SOCIAL NETWORKING,…REALLY?

So when is social networking being glued to your computer screen for hours? Are we really becoming more social by the usage of “lol” and brief comments? How much time on facebook consists of an actual, ongoing conversation that is remotely satisfying? It seems the ‘socializing’ on facebook is so UN-satisfying that people become addicted to it for more.  It only scrapes the top of our human needs, so we seek more connection and continue to post more attention seeking  comments to fill the void. Shouldn’t a social networking site promote activities outside of your room and out of your pajama pants? We all know facebook was intended for social networking, but look what it has become.  It has made us lazier and obsessed with our online persona.

3. HEY GRANDMA

Yes, grandma is now on facebook. She has a profile and she wants to post that baby picture of you naked in the sink.  Either that, or  she’ll start playing Farmville and soon grandma will be lost forever in her farm with her pigs and cows. Now Uncle Joe and Creepy Cousin Steve are all in your news feed and you don’t want to admit it, but you swear they facebook stalk you and you them.

4.  2ND GRADE ALL OVER AGAIN

Will you be my friend? You seem like one of the “cool” kids. You have so many friends and people leave so many comments on your posts. Please, please, please be my friend and comment back. Sound familiar? Remember in 2nd grade when you’d do anything to sit at the cool table at lunch break and have people like everything you said. Facebook is the highschool reunion from hell. It’s the playground all over again. It’s that sad, insecure belief that  the cool kids are cool when in reality they are not.

5. NARCISSM

Finally there are studies being done that look into facebook and its effects on narcissm. For example, Self-Presentation 2.0: Narcissism and Self-Esteem on Facebook, reveals that people who were narcissistic and have lower self-esteem, log into facebook more times per day. A narcissist believes every detail of their existence should be noted and observed by others. The world revolves around them right? Well, the facebook world actually does and that’s why all the narcissists love  facebook .  I’m convinced this will be the ruin of our generation. Everyone will become more reliant on instant validation and less able to take the time needed for empathy.

6. IS THAT YOU?

Our online personas are so different from our real ones that often we look at our friends on facebook and ask, “Who is this person?” Facebook is what we want others to see. It’s not who we really are.  It gives introverts the chance to be extroverted: it makes losers seem like heroes. For example, the  30 year old loser living at home with his mom playing video games can have the most awesome facebook profile. C’mon, don’t act like you haven’t seen this.

7.  “BUT I WANT TO GET IN TOUCH WITH MY PAST AND PEOPLE I’VE MET IN OTHER COUNTRIES”…

Oh the line I hear the most; “I love facebook! I know people all over the world and I keep in touch with them on facebook” Really? You have that many friends in other continents and you guys are soooo close that you rely on facebook instead of a phone call to keep in touch? Sounds like a close friendship. “Hey be my facebook friend so that I can know you’re still alive!” Sorry, but it’s not enough to make me want to be on the site or to think you’re going to see that person ever again.

8.  MYSTERY

Or should I say lack there of. It’s the worst thing when you respect a person and find them intriguing and then you realize they’re a facebook whore. They share all their information loosely and with everyone.  They share stupid comments and stupid compliments with everyone. You know more about them than you want to.  You know who their ex’s are (hence old wall posts and status changes), and suddenly it’s like  it’s the morning after, you’re both lying in bed and you just want to get the hell out of there. The worst thing is when you see them again there’s nothing to talk about because you know everything from their facebook page.

9. STALKER? WHO ME?

Who ever thought you, yes you, would be up at 1am looking at your neighbor’s facebook page, because for some strange reason you can’t look away. Who ever thought you’d read every single word of your friends comments,or look at every single picture of that guy you met in passing? When did you become a stalker? When did you secretly know that the girl you work with, who you don’t really talk to, gets migraines, has 2 nephews, and goes the gym every other day?  Why do you care? Because you are now officially a stalker. Facebook has made stalking easy, fun, addictive, and worse than crack. You stalk everyone. From that person who works at the grocery store, to the lady that does your hair. No one is off limits.

10. THE EX

I saved the worst for last.  There’s nothing worse than having an ex as your facebook friend or on facebook period. You will stalk their page and their new partner’s page.  You will look every time they post a photo or make an update. You will look and you will be ashamed of yourself. It’s like a perpetual hell where you are seemingly linked to this person forever because you’re both on god dam facebook. You broke up, it didn’t work out, yet they’re on your mind.  WHY?! You found someone new, you know they weren’t right for you, then why are you looking at their facebook page?  Because although facebook may not bring that person to you physically, they enter your mental realm. They are now in your head which is much worse than a physical meeting on the street.  Facebook  has been blamed for 1 in 5 divorces in the US. The problem is that you can’t leave the past behind and still have a facebook account.  The past will creep into your present thoughts and if you’re not careful it may become your future.

So in conclusion, if you hate facebook and agree with me, keep on with the righteous fight.

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35 thoughts on “I hate facebook

  1. Thank you!
    I have been saying this for years. Never would get a account.
    Thought I was the only one out there who felt that way. Don’t understand the obsession.

  2. Yeah! You are 100% right,
    I had facebook for 3 years and i just deleted my profile
    if you can call it delete (on hold) becouse there is the option
    to come back, anyway
    I got sick of people asking me – why do you this person?
    How did you meet her/hem? and it was just stuped…
    one person tagg me with the worst uniform on earth from a catholic school,
    and now im in USA but i was born in Spain and i was tagg with my flamenco dress
    not soo cool at all…. and 80′s baby naked pictures from the beach??? lets not get on details….. well 2 weeks off facebook and it feels so good!!! my Phone also rings more often ;)

  3. I couldn’t agree more. Facebook has made my life a living hell, and I couldn’t delete my account for sometime now, until I was fed up with all this *****. So yes, I’m proud to say I don’t have a Facebook account anymore. I really hate that my friends gasp when I say this. Maybe I ought to have a small tank of carbon dioxide at the ready…

    Either way, I enjoyed reading this. And wish you and all the others – all the best there is: In person.

  4. I just read this and thought that this was BY FAR the best anti-facebook blog I have ever read. It brings up good points, in each one. My favourite would have to be The Ex, because although I don’t find much of a point in facebook anymore and I rarely use it, the few boyfriends I’ve had, I’ve either deleted/blocked on facebook after the break up…why? Because I simply don’t want to know their new life in detail and it is not my business.

    This also reminds me of when my new boyfriend who I’m actually happy with still had his ex on his facebook for a while until he deleted her. She found out we were in a relationship and although she was in one, she STILL tried to get back with him after. All in all, facebook is such an ego trip for those who rely on it.

  5. Oh, and another thing. People try to act like tough shit over facebook but IRL won’t even make eye contact. Or the catfights that happen on a status, but don’t happen outside of the site. Haha

  6. I agree with this great post! Especially “The Ex”. That’s why I always delete my exes on facebook, haha. My “friends” on FB are not really friends, acquaintances mostly. I never understand why people would post updates/pictures about their bf/gf’s. Why would they wanna share this with strangers? It’s supposed to be private.

    I haven’t quit facebook yet, because unfortunately I still have to rely on facebook as an convenient platform to get updates from different companies (I subscribe to a a number of companies and activities that are important to me). And to protect my privacy, I set up a private account many months ago (used and seen by myself only) to do all that stuff. My “public” profile has been deserted for quite some time for this reason.

    I feel so much better without logging in the page and reading those trivial status updates. Though I don’t seem to be close to some friends who use this site obsessively, I don’t really care. But sometimes I think people are compulsive facebook users because it seems the easiest way to kill time. It could be the worst passive form of entertainment after watching television.

  7. Sad but true. I do have a FB account, but I may log in once every 10 days or so. It’s sad what this has become and even sadder to see grown people on an internet site clamouring for attention.

    I simply don’t have a pressing need to reveal every intricate detail of my comings and goings nor post pics of me and my wife.

    In reality, I may keep it for now, but will definitely edit my so-called “friends” list. If I haven’t seen or spoken to you in the last 3 years, you are gone.

  8. Katie is correct, and the point about NARCISSM is so try! I have an account, I have been debating deleting it for some time, at the age of 38 I feel I am too old! I constantly have streams of updates from my young relatives litered with expletives about there amazing lives! I just dont understand why people have the need to constantly share every aspect of their lives. I had a relative that posted something everyday and then posted about possibly having cancer and she had to go for a scan!! Why didnt she phone her mom/husband/sister? Why tell people on FB? Because these people know they will get instant gratification in the form of a bunch of sycophantic friends massaging their egos. I cant see why you cant talk to your close friends on messenger/email/phone or dare I say, face to face! I worry for our children, they have been brought up in this environment, we didnt have to worry about these extra social issues, stigmas, pressures brought on by internet, facebook and mobile phones. Its up to us level headed people to lead the way and start by going “off the grid” as Jack Bauer might say!

  9. OMG i love this site and u r so on point facebook is so fake they should change it to fakebook and we can make a realbook lol it can have stuff like pictures of u with no makeup and have u commited any felonys and how many times have u been divorced lmao all the real stuff about u not what you want people to know.

  10. This blog is hilarious and I am disgusted with how juvenile the average person has become with Facistbook, twitter, etc. Who gives a rip about your boring life and why do you want to tell us about it? I am constantly pressured to sign up and just today I requested an email and was told oh I dont have their email, I just talk to them via facebook. Ridiculous.
    I love the part about stalking the hairdresser and grocery store clerk! Too funny.

    I am honestly waiting for someone to invent a new, better social network site that does not update you on everyones every move and that does not violate privacy like facistbook! I have a feeling Apple or Google will invent something better and everyone will jump ship like they did on myspace and Facistbook will be a ghost town before you know it. its the worst invention ever and I wish people would realize that they are acting like immature high school attention whores and they are degrading our society by just being sheep.

  11. There seems to be a subtle, unwritten social network “fad” to ignore the initial pleasant, non-obligatory, brief hellos to long lost schoolmates, by portraying a kind of furtive arrogance, with a cold reply to greetings, if any reply at all. I don’t recall ever feeling this unpopular. I almost feel embarrassed. Just wanted to see photos of family who live far away. Just wanted to say hello to long ago buddies. Many chose to ignore my simple, brief greetings. I used to fantasize about this years ago, thinking “if only I could speak to this or that classmate again”. Being ignored, after I initially signed up 3 months ago, especially by some family members, has left me kind of heartbroken. I never made a friend “request”, but never ignored those rare requests sent my way. Tried to start little exchanges in the “comments” and “likes” categories, but rarely received a response. I initially resisted joining because the accumulation of “friends” seemed so contrived. I don’t think I’ve ever had “hundreds” of “real” friends.Some former schoolmates left me stunned, confused, and embarrassed, when they suddenly stopped responding after only 1 or 2 interesting, very pleasant exchanges. The rejections have had a far greater impact than any of the very few positive responses, which were invigorating. It’s all been too much. I don’t want to be that “old” person who checks in, or chimes in, on what the kids in my brother’s family are into. How dare I, right? I can understand how old high school female friends might keep message exchanges to a minimum, so as to not upset husbands and such, and I can understand how guys from high school might be apprehensive about being “cornered” into some long, drawn-out pen-pal-like exchange, but, of course, that was not my intention. Maybe being a lifelong musician from New York City, I’ve become pathetically needy and dependent upon enthusiastic praise and adulation. You can tell that celebrities on these sites, especially twitter, have “people” who do their “tweeting” for them, and understandably so. I’m sorry if this forever damages some renewed contacts made, but, in assessing the results of these past 3 months, I’m not so sure it makes any difference to them. Some of this experience was exhilarating. Some folks were very kind, enthusiastic, and receptive, but so very few. I guess I was expecting too much. I’ve removed as much of my profile page as possible, without actually deleting, because I know from my brief experience with the “classmates.com” rip-off/heartbreak last year, that an exit is apparently impossible, and it IS fun to see photos of family members who live so far away. I didn’t enjoy the cute expletives some “friends” posted for all the underage kids in my family to behold, and really couldn’t technically figure out how to prevent those expletives without sounding like some whiny dope. In conclusion, I’m not some sort of neurotic with deep rooted hang-ups. Maybe some of those non-responders from high school had just simply become as fed up as I am. Maybe they initially joined for some reason other than to be sociable. Anyway, thanks for providing this vehicle through which I could unload. Now it’s on to a normal life again.

    • Thank you for your very honest and heart-felt comment. I felt the same way with people. People would friend me and I’d try to reach out to them at some other time and not one response – ever. Facebook can feel very unvalidating, especially if you have good integrity and manners and are a sincere person. As an HSP and an INFP, I found I was picking up on too much stuff – I hate to say the word “psychically” – but that is what it feels like. I thought I would keep in better touch with my half-brothers but they hardly ever comment on anything I post or wish me a happy birthday though I have them for a few years now. I just decided as well, that it put me too close in touch with a few too many unsavory type of people I never would have done work for artistically had I not been on there. I still keep my profile to keep in touch with a few people on there I like, but basically it has been a relief not to bother with it anymore. I found it caused me more social anxiety than I had in real life dealing with people! And it wasn’t that bad really! I now worry about some of the more personal or immature things I might have posted during vulnerable times in my life and cringe when I think of them. I also felt bad deleting some friends who really hurt me or slimed me as an artist and then felt bad about that too. Mostly Facebook just made me feel self-conscious being sensitive to outside stimuli. I am now creating more art, attending to my close friends more, and don’t have all these “screen people” in my head anymore I feel compelled to wonder about and pick up on their trips. I am reading some good books and posting reviews on goodreads here and there. That’s all.

    • That is very much how I felt towards the end of my account (now gone). I spent ages wondering what I’d done to upset people and why I was basically talking to myself on FB. From now on if people want to be evasive or standoffish with me they can do it in person… just like before!

  12. I don’t know if I’m the only person this has happened to, but a bunch of people who were my close friends last year now don’t contact me at all because I choose not to have a facebook account. Apparently it’s too hard to drop me a text now. I find that even more ironic because most of them are on facebook on their iPhones anyway, surely it would only take 30 seconds more to text me and invite me to so-called ‘events’? And possibly the most insulting and irritating thing is that although I am not on facebook and have NEVER been on facebook, my boyfriend recently found upwards of 50 photos of me on other peoples’ facebook pages. So all my efforts to keep my image off the internet were totally futile, you can see pictures of me in a bikini on facebook. Is that fair?

  13. Sarah i know i feel the same way, is too bad :( , my tip is : make sure you wax or shave very well before u go to the beach/pool with your friends the time :P ,

  14. You know what they say, noting brings people closer than hate, and this is one we both share. I completely agree with every single of those points. I am excited to see what else you will bring up on this sparkling new blog of yours. I’m new to the blogging world myself :) (and yes, it is so much less bad than Facebook).

  15. Wow I have to completely agree with the stalker one. I cannot stop stalking an old lover of mine even though i try so hard. I keep deleting/activating my profile just to have another peek at him. It is so pathetic and I know it, His fault for being so damn good I guess. Sometimes I wish the Internet had never been invented, Iphones too. I’m trying to fill my time more so i don’t think about looking at people from my past.

  16. Haha you should continue this mate!

    It’s not just facebook. It’s actually the people in it that get sucked in the whole “Validate me”, “Sympathize with me”, “Pity me” and so on.

    If you want check my posts about why facebook sucks in my blog: http://dumbpeopleannoyme.blogspot.com

    I ‘ve deactivated mine like 2 years ago. I can’t say I miss it. I have more time and I don’t see what the dumbasses type in my screen. Get some ideas from my blog and post some on yours too!

  17. I refused to use facebook, but about 2 months ago I accidently discovered through a google search that I could get in touch with almost every one of my high school friends on one group that was created, all in one place. It had been over 40 years so I jumped at the opportunity. Well, it didn’t take long to discover that either facebook or hackers are constantly trying to get information from you like credit card numbers or phone numbers. Then there was the creepy stuff, like when I stopped using it for 2 weeks. One of my friends emailed me to ask why I hadn’t been on, and that he missed my comments. I thought the email sounded kind of gay, so when I got back on I asked him why he sent me that email. He DIDN’T! Facebook sent it, pretending to be him.

    There were other incidents which led me to believe I had been right not to join before. I googled how to delete your account and followed the instructions and, after 14 days of NOT interacting with anything having to do with facebook (like those facebook message boards you see on a lot of websites), my account was completely deleted.

    Stay away from facebook!!!

  18. I get treated like an outcast because i don’t follow facebook like a religion but I laugh it off. Good blog, very nice.

  19. I hate facebook, my son hates facebook, my grandson hates facebook and in a few years I’ll be able to teach my great grandson to hate facebook. Oh the reason we hate facebook is because it takes time away from kayaking, mountain biking, hiking , horseback riding and just plain living.

  20. I am lucky to have landed on this article by chance. I was on a Facebook hiatus and wanted to read something that allows me to stay away from the social-evil network with a strong will.
    Thanks.

  21. And I also wanted to say my bit about narcissism. I realize that even I got this habit of attention-seeking and hence started to devote more hours to Facebook. And it is worse in many ways like all addictions-drug, gaming etc. They don’t leave time for living this beautiful life ‘real’ way. Perhaps, low self-esteem or may be a contagious affect, but it eventually is addictive.

    A very good and thought-provoking article in lucid words. Hats off sincerely!
    Why don’t you blog more often? And if you don’t mind can i ask which nationality you have?

  22. I can relate to most of what you have said…sadly, I have at least seven profiles on Facebook that I just cant seem to delete. I have forgotten my password, I blame my younger self for not saving the password. Ugh…if only I could turn back the clock! Now I have people adding me on FB and I cant do anything about it. I hope one day face book will die because its seriously not as good as it used to be. Now its all timelines and shit! I wonder what gonna be next.

  23. Here is why i ended up hating facebook. The family dynamics of it all ended up driving me NUTS. My parents are divorced. they had been divorced for a LOOONg time. For some reason my overbearing mother who LEFT my dad… she enjoyed the thoughts of being able to facebook reconnect with such family members on my dad’s side. LIke WHAT THE FUCK?! Try not to act as if your still a part of his life already. And WTF with ppl accepting her friends request to begin with? DROVE me fucking nuts. Seeing an ex wife… still trying to make herself a part of her ex husbands (my dads) life…. and visa versa… seeing family members of my dad’s side accepting her friends request. LIKE, it just makes me wanna just scream out FUCKING WHY?! If your so interested in adding such EX WIves, GO Add your OWN EX WIFE too. Like PUH LEEZE. and Plus, I guess my narcissistic self felt ignored, cuz rarely would ppl respond to me anyways. The only way to have some type of banter would be commenting on their page instead. The experience ended up being so unsatisfactory. So, i guess i quit. most of them were family members anyways. Its pathetic and sad in a way if they think facebook is the only way to stay to stay connected with me…

  24. I LOVE this. So true on all points. As an HSP and an INFP person, Facebook just caused me to pick up on yet more of the nuances of peoples’ lives and feelings I didn’t want to know about – even if they were trying to hide it. I got mad at a few people who treated me poorly in real life and unfriended them and that always made me feel weird. I’d rather just barely use it for the reason I wanted to use it in the first place, artistic connections – and yet it gave me some that I wish I had never had. My life was much better and more clear before Facebook. I won’t delete my profile for performance reasons, but basically, I stay away from it now. I got tired of being invited to events where my ex was performing or seeing him tagged in photos of mutual friends as well. And you are right – I spent far too much time looking at peoples’ profiles I met in passing when what I really needed to do was connect with them in real life and get to know them better – the old fashion way. I am now reading and creating more art and staying offline in general since I decided to spend 95% less time on facebook. But again, I found myself looking at it tonight and then did a search for reasons to stay off of it again. Back to my book and my real life endeavors! FB is such a confusing waste of time by now to me. Thank you for an excellent article – the best one yet.

  25. Facebook is inviting George Orwell’s 1984 into your life. Watch out, big brother is watching. Since when do we just give out our birthdays? Maybe we should also publish our social security number online and advertise for identity thieves to just have their way with us? And yes it is Narcissistic, and a complete waste of time.

  26. It’s refreshing to feel that I’m not alone in my thoughts about Facebook. Your blog post hit so many key reasons why I feel Facebook is a waste of time. For years I felt an obligation to be on there for friends, when in reality I found myself resenting some of my good friends.They seemed to need more and more attention and constant affirmation. It feels narcissistic, as you mentioned. I enjoy pictures of family now and then ,but aside from that, I feel fb is more anti social than social. Real communication and friendship is lost. I don’t even get an occasional text from two of my friends whom I considered to be close, since they use fb religiously. Almost as if they’re more concerned with how many likes and comments they get on fb.

    Well, thanks for sharing this blog. I don’t feel so wrong in my opinions and how Facebook is ruining real relationships. It’s like nobody wants to get off the crazy train :)

  27. Uau. If anything, Facebook showed me who is likely to have narcissistic personality disorder among the people I know. It’s just so uninteresting and fake. Completely fake, as in my cousin just called me full of tears saying nasty things about her nasty mom, and then “I love my mom and I would be nothing without her”. And then all the old people commenting “oh what a beautiful thing to say”! Who is this person?? Who are these people that believe in words once they’re written? I feel sick to my stomach. Never got anything good from there – once even a crazy friend from elementary school came to visit me abroad – and I didn’t know she had got this crazy. It was a nightmare to get rid of her. I have a lot of creepy stories to tell about the short time I was on Facebook. Not anymore, thanks.

  28. “Like” all the previous truthful remarks here. My turn. Sister in Law: It seems you have Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Facebook is the crack that feeds it. I can’t say such honest things on Facebook. I don’t like the photos in which you choose to tag me. I don’t like “Throw Back Thursday” or “Fuck Off Friday” or whatnot. I don’t care where you had lunch or dinner or stayed or shopped or what martini or shot or beer or wine you drank or how much you love my brother or your parents or your kids or how proud you are and were of their track meets. I don’t need to see ten year old pictures of your adults when they were kids, or babies. I don’t even care about all the “prayer requests” for kids with cancer/involved in accidents. I don’t care. Well, I’ll care if I WANT TO. I feel better venting on a blog than wasting my afternoon keeping up with your sychophantic “friends.” “Oh your boys are so handsome!” “Oh you two are so in love!” “Save one for me!” “You are awesome!” “I wish I was there, you are so lucky!!” Such originality. Barf.

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